You Know When....

You know you've been in college too long when...you recall a book you want from the library that you have sitting at home on your desk.

You know you've been in college too long when...your high school underclassmen start showing up in your graduate program.

You know you've been in college too long when...you don't even remember which doors the keys on your key chain marked as University property open.

You know you've been in college too long when...you know the combinations to all the combination door locks in your building.

You know you've been in college too long when...you can guess the new combinations of the combination door locks each semester without being given the new codes.

You know you've been in college too long when...the department secretary/tenured professor/program chair says "Hey, here's Monica! She'll know!" when you walk into the office.

You know you've been in college too long when...all the bartenders and waitstaff of the restaurant/grill/bar nearest to your college know you by name and order.

You know you've been in college too long when...you know the names of all the custodians, maintenance staff, computer technicians, delivery people, parking lot attendants, garbage people, landscape crew, and postal carriers who come with a hundred feet of your college...and they know you.

You know you've been in college too long when...your transcript takes ten pages.

You know you've been in college too long when...you University employment history takes ten pages.

You know you've been in college too long when...Financial Aid threatens to cut off your funding if you don't graduate soon.

You know you've been in college too long when...you've named all the campus cats...and the squirrels.

You know you've been in college too long when...you know to which professor each car in the faculty lot belongs.

You know you've been in college too long when...you've memorized the phone number of every place that delivers to campus or your apartment.

You know you've been in college too long when...you get mad at them for locking you out of the GIS lab on Christmas so they can run server maintenance.

You know you've been in college too long when...you glare menacingly at the 85,000 rabid fans walking below your studio window because they're disturbing your concentration.

You know you've been in college too long when...an hour after 85,000 rabid fans walked by below your window you lift your head up and ask "Hey, wasn't there a football game today?"

You know you've been in college too long when...you desk chair is nicer than the dean's.

You know you've been in college too long when...the only dog you could consider having is a helping dog in training because they can go everywhere with you.

You know you've been in college too long when...there are more library books in your car than your studio...and some of them have been there for years.

You know you've been in college too long when...you're on your fourth laptop...and you still have the other three...and you still use them...sometimes simultaneously.

You know you've been in college too long when...you've actually managed to kill one of those over-engineered, totally indestructible, Swiss-brand backpacks.

You know you've been in college too long when...you make the "undo" motion with your left hand (CTRL+Z on your keyboard) when you drop something in the hall.

You know you've been in college too long when...you've actually begun to rub the enamel off your laptop case where your wrists rest against it.

You know you've been in college too long when...you think cold, greasy cheese pizza and espresso is the best meal ever.

You know you've been in college too long when...you don't even read the totals on the bottom of the student loan statement anymore.

And finally, you know you've been in college too long when...no one has asked you how your thesis project is going for at least year.