The journal of a normal white girl from a conservative Christian family who found herself to be a liberal, vegetarian, tree-hugging, Buddhist in the middle of Nebraska beef country ... and then moved to big, bad Los Angeles to become a Buddhist chaplain much to everyone's consternation, including her own.
January 21, 2009
Gender Semantics
A bit of a rant, but one of my better ones, I think.
Ha! I should probably identify as a wife. One of my biggest passions in life is cooking, and, aside from being handy in a fight (I used to be a pro boxer), I don't have any of the standard "manly" skills. If I manage to change a lightbulb, I brag about it for weeks.
Hehe. I think my personals ad would read "Woman with power tools wants man who will stay the hell out of the way." I have often felt I need a wife, a 1950's, June Cleaver kind of wife, even though that seems mildly hypocritical. I am so helpless in those ways and have so little inclination to do anything about it. But I can hang drywall and defrag a harddrive!
“I want our society to reach the point where gender, racial, sexual or any other kind of inequality is just as baffling and bizarre to them as witch-hunting is to us.”
That would be awesome and save probably tens of thousands of people from being confused because they don’t fit into the “social norm”. I have heard from and read stories by recovering alcoholics and addicts who shared “they just felt different from others or didn’t fit in” I am one of those. When some of us sense we are different we turned to mind altering substances to mask the feelings of inadequacies, in the beginning we may have had control over the substance but the longer we used the more we became dependent, some of us where just born with alcoholism and addiction. Society/media tells us that men and women need to have certain gender specific interest and actvities; when we discovery that we just don’t fit into the gender mold it is really confusing, I know non-alkies and addicts feel the same way, this is just an example of what I have witnesses concerning social inequality. I questioned my sexual orientation when I was in my early twenties because I don’t like sports, violence, cars/engine size/tranny ratios, I can shoot any number of weapons with accuracy but don’t really like them, I like to cook, raise flowers, keep a fairly clean house, listen to acoustic music as opposed to head banging stuff, rather read then watch t.v. and I’m hetero, this might be alright for a young male in a large city but for a kid in rural America it isn’t acceptable. Thinking about your problem with the commercials, I love kitchen gadgets and cleaning devices but yeah they are geared towards women and not men who are either single or take care of or share the cooking and cleaning in the home. I can use power tools, do basic carpentry, plumbing, auto repairs, but so can a lot of women I know and some of them are better at it because they are more detail oriented.
Thanks for another good piece. Thought provoking as usual.
I love the way you write, and how your mind works. This was brilliant and I too look forward to that day.
I'm kinda bizarre. I was happy being a housewife for a goodly number of years, but I was also managing a six figure salary, plus bonuses as the CIO (Chief Information Officer) of a company. I'm equally adept in the kitchen, and the computer room and I don't feel this represents any conflict in life. My late husband refused to eat Chinese food out after I started cooking it for him at home. I also designed, built, tested, and rolled out a custom search engine for internet data searches because only three companies licensed the technology and wanted more for it than I could afford at the time, or like ever.
I too travel alone and see nothing wrong with it, though I don't go looking for trouble. With gas prices down, I'm going to be taking some descent road trips this spring, summer, and fall. I might even go camping I suspect. Alone.
Yes, I think stereotypes, be they gender, or any other kind of limiting concept, should be jettisoned into space!
5 comments:
I don't know nearly enough about automobiles. I also dislike spotlight sports. I hope that helps.
Ha! I should probably identify as a wife. One of my biggest passions in life is cooking, and, aside from being handy in a fight (I used to be a pro boxer), I don't have any of the standard "manly" skills. If I manage to change a lightbulb, I brag about it for weeks.
Hehe. I think my personals ad would read "Woman with power tools wants man who will stay the hell out of the way." I have often felt I need a wife, a 1950's, June Cleaver kind of wife, even though that seems mildly hypocritical. I am so helpless in those ways and have so little inclination to do anything about it. But I can hang drywall and defrag a harddrive!
“I want our society to reach the point where gender, racial, sexual or any other kind of inequality is just as baffling and bizarre to them as witch-hunting is to us.”
That would be awesome and save probably tens of thousands of people from being confused because they don’t fit into the “social norm”. I have heard from and read stories by recovering alcoholics and addicts who shared “they just felt different from others or didn’t fit in” I am one of those. When some of us sense we are different we turned to mind altering substances to mask the feelings of inadequacies, in the beginning we may have had control over the substance but the longer we used the more we became dependent, some of us where just born with alcoholism and addiction. Society/media tells us that men and women need to have certain gender specific interest and actvities; when we discovery that we just don’t fit into the gender mold it is really confusing, I know non-alkies and addicts feel the same way, this is just an example of what I have witnesses concerning social inequality. I questioned my sexual orientation when I was in my early twenties because I don’t like sports, violence, cars/engine size/tranny ratios, I can shoot any number of weapons with accuracy but don’t really like them, I like to cook, raise flowers, keep a fairly clean house, listen to acoustic music as opposed to head banging stuff, rather read then watch t.v. and I’m hetero, this might be alright for a young male in a large city but for a kid in rural America it isn’t acceptable. Thinking about your problem with the commercials, I love kitchen gadgets and cleaning devices but yeah they are geared towards women and not men who are either single or take care of or share the cooking and cleaning in the home. I can use power tools, do basic carpentry, plumbing, auto repairs, but so can a lot of women I know and some of them are better at it because they are more detail oriented.
Thanks for another good piece. Thought provoking as usual.
I love the way you write, and how your mind works. This was brilliant and I too look forward to that day.
I'm kinda bizarre. I was happy being a housewife for a goodly number of years, but I was also managing a six figure salary, plus bonuses as the CIO (Chief Information Officer) of a company. I'm equally adept in the kitchen, and the computer room and I don't feel this represents any conflict in life. My late husband refused to eat Chinese food out after I started cooking it for him at home. I also designed, built, tested, and rolled out a custom search engine for internet data searches because only three companies licensed the technology and wanted more for it than I could afford at the time, or like ever.
I too travel alone and see nothing wrong with it, though I don't go looking for trouble. With gas prices down, I'm going to be taking some descent road trips this spring, summer, and fall. I might even go camping I suspect. Alone.
Yes, I think stereotypes, be they gender, or any other kind of limiting concept, should be jettisoned into space!
Way to go Monica!
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