August 14, 2006


I was thinking, while I drove my newly fixed car back from the dealer, soon it will break down again. The warranty will run out and I won't be able to fix it, so I'll have to give up owning a car. That's okay. A few years ago it probably would have been unthinkable. I've given up a lot since I went back to college: my house, fancy morning coffee, the good frozen lunches, all the cable channels I love, and new books every week. I left my good paying job at the bank. I don't spend as much time with my friends or my family. I don't belong to any clubs or really have any regular hobbies. I left my dog with my parents in Omaha when I moved to Lincoln.

The largest thing I think I've given up is pride. First, I asked my parents if I could move back in with them. I broke down and cried. I did, then sold the house. When I found the condo in Lincoln, I asked them for help again in buying it. The house wasn't sold yet and my income wouldn't qualify me. So they bought it, and I pay for it. Last summer, when I couldn't afford to pay for classes, they came through again and helped me. Before going back to school I took great pride in my independence. I've had to ask for help much more in the last couple of years.

Pride is just another form of attachment.

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