October 01, 2008

Ridiculous Me

So this morning I got up, had my coffee, showered, and dressed. I packed my bags and rolled up my jeans hems. I pulled on my coat and gloves, grabbed my helmet, and headed out the back door down the fire escape. I hopped on my bicycle and got half a block. I passed my car sitting quietly under an oak tree on the block behind my house. I was stopped by the fluorescent orange envelope under my windshield wiper. Expired registration. So I parked my bike, locked it up, snatched the envelope from the windshield and hopped in the car which hadn't been driven for at least twelve days. I drove the 53 blocks to the DMV, walked to the ATM next door, got the cash, walked back, got the stickers, put them on my plates and drove home. I parked under an oak tree on the block in front of my house. I unlocked my bicycle and headed for campus. I stopped on the way to get lunch before walking into the student union, setting down my bags, opening my laptop and my salad, in that order, so I could blog about how ridiculous life has become.

Is it just me or what?


wolfie185 said...

Ridiculous as it maybe, remember to be grateful you had the cash to pay for re-registering your car; some don't, you have a car when you need it, that you didn't have to lose an hour or more of pay because the DMV doesn't stay open after 5 so you either have to leave work to take care of business or use your much needed lunch break standing in line. All of us forget how lucky we are sometimes when life throws a ball of stupid inconvenience's our way or even stomach turning realities.
Yesterday I assisted in taking my dad to the nursing home where he will live out the rest of his life. While my mom and sister where out buying him a comfortable chair and TV, I sat with him. He was just sitting on the bed visibly upset and wanting to get the hell out but unable to. He told me " I thought I would be able to handle this but I can't, I just want to go home, I can't sleep here, why do I have to stay here, I am not that bad." it was like sitting with a scarred young child not the proud strong man who raised me. I was strong enough to tell him without breaking down that it wasn't safe for him to live at home any longer that he didn't know how bad his mental health was getting and that his confusion was too much for mom to handle and she was getting confused and making bad decisions. Driving home I was finally able to start crying, feeling the suffering that both of us were going through but knowing that we couldn't change what was going on and it was self will that drove the suffering, the Self wished he would could die and move on but that isn't the way life works. I turned on NPR and one of the stories yesterday was about the widow's trailer camp in Iraq, widower women in some part of Iraq, didn't catch the providence, these women and their children live in trailers in the hot Iraq with no electricity or running water, no financial support, some have taken to prostitution and others to bagging to survive. My heart when out to them, I live in a mobile home which is well shaded and has a efficient heat pump for heating and cooling not mention plenty of electricity and running water, in the past I have lived in a basic trailer and they are pressure cookers or freezers, so I can empathize in a privileged American way with them. Hearing this story really put my sorrow over my dad, family and myself in prospective, here I was driving my comfortable pickup over to my un-wed daughters decent apartment to see my beautiful and healthy granddaughter. No matter how mundane or shitty I think my life may be at different moments I am so blessed, so is my family and friends. When complacency sets in all I really need to do this listen to what is happening outside of my safe haven in the world to understand how blessed I am compared to others and some of those others may live within blocks of me. My choice on how much I open my eyes, ears and heart.
Thanks for the post I needed it today and I also like your article in the DN, I wish the ghost of FDR would return to the front of national politics, Obama is alright and Scott Kleeb has a very good FDR approach to problems facing the state and the nation, but unfortunately there is no strong Progressive leader and until the media changes we will probably never see one.

Monica said...

Thanks Scott for sharing and for the perspective. I just find it humorous and sadly ironic that with things like war and starvation and suffering, we end up running around doing funny little things which really don't amount to a hill of beans and yet require huge investments of time, energy, and money.

Oh well.

Samantha said...

Don't feel bad Monica. Got up this morning, filled out checks for bills, put them in envelopes, ran out of stamps and ran up to the post office to post them. Drove up, though if I had a bike I could have rode I 'spect. Got to the post office, waited on line, smiled at Terry and said I'd like a book of stamps. Reached into my purse for my wallet...

...and had to go back home to get it!

Don't feel bad, we all have days like these. Scott's right it's a great goodness that we can do these things I guess. The suffering of the world is never far from my thoughts or heart, and I do regular Reiki sessions to send healing energy outwards in all directions. Perspective and empathy are more than watch words in my life, they tend to define and shape me.

I won't vote for the McCain/Palin ticket for any number of reasons, not the least of which is the slash and burn mentality and the complete , planned, abrogation of basic human rights in the US, but I at least have a better feeling for Sarah Palin as the misguided, misinformed soul who's been poisoned by a religion that is shall we say less than helpful? I had a great sadness for her, because her heart is good, but her mind poisoned.

900 some years before Christ a friend looked at me on joked: "May you live in interesting times." I looked at him after the debate and said, "So, interesting enough times for you?"