You know you've been working with data for too long when you can write jokes in Excel function syntax.
=IF(Head Diameter > Opening, No Problem, IF(Common Sense => Average, No Problem, IF(Beer Consumption < 3, No Problem, LOOKUP(“Jaws of Life”, Yellow Pages, Phone Number))))
How to read: =IF(test criteria, value if true, value if false) and =LOOKUP(lookup this value, look in, return value)
If you understand this joke, I am very, very, very sorry. You and I should find new jobs.